Search Me, O God
By Cami Chang
Experiences of the COVID-19 pandemic vary greatly, depending on life circumstances. Anxiety, grief, boredom, creativity, loneliness, overwhelm, exhaustion, introspection, restlessness, stillness - the whole situation has stirred up a wide range of human emotions.
Everyone has experienced some kind of loss as a result of the pandemic, but different kinds of loss. God sees every loss. Some now carry heavier, more stressful burdens at work and/or at home. God sees those heavy loads. Others have had their load lightened by the stay-at-home order, and are grateful for the temporary slowdown of life. God sees that, too.
No matter what your situation is, or how you are responding to that situation, God sees you. Even if no one else knows your heart, God knows. And he cares.
Psalm 139:1–3
O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways. (ESV)
God searches our hearts. He cares about our actions and our thoughts. He knows if we are depressed or grieving. He knows when we are worrying and when we are weary. He knows if we are complaining, rejoicing, or going a little stir-crazy at home. Nothing is hidden from the Lord.
Psalm 139:4-6
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it. (ESV)
As God’s people, we can be confident that in every circumstance, the Lord is working for our good and for his glory. God has specific purposes for this pandemic on an international level and on an individual level. He is doing work in each of our hearts as we walk through our particular COVID-19 scenarios.
God is infinite in power, so far beyond us in wisdom and holiness, and at the same time, he is close to you, intimately acquainted with every detail of your life. Jesus knows what it is like to be human, and he knows you. He knows what it is like to suffer - even to death on the cross for our sins. Even if no one else understands the difficulty of your own situation, God does.
What has this turn of events brought out in your life? What is going on in your heart? (Grief? Desperation? Fear? Discontent? Idolatry? Renewed perspective?) What does God want to do in and through you during this time?
Psalm 139:23–24
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting! (ESV)
Would you take some time to sit with the Lord this week and ask him to search you? Read all of Psalm 139 and pray through it. Ask God to show you the state of your heart and how he wants to comfort you, convict you, and/or challenge you. Ask him to show you your way forward. What actions do you need to take in response to his guidance? Follow his lead.
Mandated restrictions will be lifting step by step in the near future. As movement slowly returns to our lives, let’s walk forward with Jesus, our hearts in line with his.
This devotional was originally shared in verbal form during the women’s devotional time on May 6. We are meeting weekly online on Wednesdays at 7:30pm. To join our next meeting, contact Kristin Gong kgong@wintersburg.org or Cami Chang cchang@wintersburg.org.